How to Have a Happy Festivus Party
The Festivus Pole, Airing of Grievances, and Feats of Strength
Dec 3, 2008
As we close in on Festivus, held every year by the faithful on December 23, it is time to prepare your Festivus festivities. While many of the traditional parts of Festivus originally on Seinfeld are not particularly pleasant, many options have risen up to lighten up the gloom and anger.
A Note on Alcohol (For the Rest of Us)
Alcohol is traditionally not served on Festivus. However, variations abound on Festivus. Many of the ideas below are best served with alcohol. It is up to the celebrators whether to drink or not.
The Festivus Pole
A Festivus pole is easy enough to find. Traditionally a Festivus Pole is six to eight feet long and mounted vertically. As a pole this size can be cumbersome and hard to find, any length pole can be used.
Often a lamp with the top removed is used as a Festivus Pole, as it is near the proper height and width. The Wagner Companies sells Festivus Poles in six foot models and two foot eight inch table top models. According to their website “Local customs vary and you may be able to decorate your pole with non-threatening plain decorations, or ordinary green garland,” although traditionally the Festivus Pole is unadorned.
The Airing of Grievances
The Airing of Grievances has undergone several changes since Festivus was brought into popular culture. Many still continue the tradition of lashing out at others at the party, telling them all the ways that they have disappointed them. This has been known to ruin the party, as even things said ironically can create bad feelings.
A second option is instead of aiming grievances at each other, to aim them at the world, preferably is a Seinfeldesque “What’s the deal with . . .” format. With alcohol added, this can be a humorous way to air your dirty laundry.
The Feats of Strength
The traditional Feats of Strength take place after the Airing of Grievances, between the head of the family (or host of the party) and one guest of choice. The guest must wrestle the host to the ground. Festivus is not over until the head of the family is pinned.
While it may be fun, the Feats of Strength can be damaging to life, limb, and furniture. As an alternative, consider group games for the Feats. Drinking games are popular with the adult set, along with board games. The Nintendo Wii is excellent for games with a little more physicality. For those who still want to wrestle, a mattress on the floor is recommended.
Despite the cancellation of Seinfeld many years ago, its holiday offspring continues to thrive among the ironic hipster crowd. With holiday headaches continuing to spiral out of control, maybe it is time to celebrate Festivus, for the rest of us.
